Hard things.

😱
Hard things happen.
They do.
All the time, actually.

Change happens.
All the time.

Disappointment. Unfinished business. Unmet expectations. They happen all the time.

We expected Coleman to play lacrosse from March till May.
It isn’t happening.
We expected him to finish fifth grade at his school.
That’s still up in the air.
We expected him to be Aladdin in their upcoming performance.
That’s on hold for now.
We expected to go to New York this week.
It’s canceled. 
We expected that life would look like it usually looks.
But it doesn’t.

Ten months ago, we expected Jason to recover from a breathing incident.
He didn’t.
We expected that Coleman would have his dad around to be his coach and his mentor. His buddy and his best friend.
He isn’t.

But here’s the thing.
I don’t mind that Coleman has something hard to go through.
I wish it wasn’t THIS particular hard thing. I wish he still had his greatest fan around to teach him and love him and help him achieve his dreams.
I want all of that Dad-ness for Coleman.
I ache for it.

But I don’t mind that he has to do something hard.
I don’t mind that he has to adjust to something new.
I don’t mind that he has to learn what to do with disappointment.
I don’t mind that he’s beginning to understand that life doesn’t always go the way we expect it to...
or want it to...
or think it should.
I don’t mind that he has to practice adapting and rolling with it and choosing to be happy in spite of unexpected changes.

I don’t mind that Coleman has something hard.

This won’t be the first challenge he faces or the first disappointment he encounters. Change is real and can feel really difficult.
But not knowing what to do with change seems harder to me.

So, I don’t mind it.

And I am grateful that he gets to learn from me, his mom, how to navigate things that don’t go our way.
How to stumble our way through. How to cope and have courage and see the good. How to feel our feelings as well as look to the future. How to serve others and empathize - because now we know how it feels.

And as we practice all this, then maybe, just maybe, he’ll be ready to tackle the next hard thing that comes along.
✊🏻💙