What does it mean to drown in your own success?

Q: How often do you accomplish everything on your To Do list?

I work with successful, high-achievers.

In a coaching session, I told my client:

The problem isn’t that you are a hot mess.

You’re not.

You’re successful.

You create big things.

You’re good at your job.

You have relationships that you care about.

You serve and give to the community.

You are generous.

You’re not a mess.

So why was this highly-successful business owner, father, and husband reaching out for coaching?

Because he was drowning in his own success.

He knew that the scrappy, full-tilt way that he accomplished his success wasn’t sustainable.

He was running from meeting to meeting without a moment to breathe.

He was hustling to his son’s soccer game to sneak into the bleachers after the game started.

He flew from office to office, deal to deal, making things happen.

Everything was a rush because everyone needed him for something.

He has created an uplifting, innovative, connected work culture.

People like working for his company.

He loves his family.

His family loves being with him.

They live intentionally and generously.

He and his wife have created a happy, goal-oriented family culture.

He’s good at stuff.

But he’s drowning.

He knows this schedule is not sustainable.

He can’t keep doing it like he has been.

He’s being swallowed by his ability to build a thriving business and create a strong family.

How he has created his success is not sustainable, and he knows it.

He told me that he writes a To Do list each day that has double the amount of things he knows he can accomplish that day.

But he does it on purpose.

Why?

Because if he doesn’t overcommit to himself, he worries that he won’t live up to his potential.

He worries that not over-expecting of himself only leads to underachieving.

He is hedging himself against his fear of being LAZY.

So, he doubles his To Do list, knowing there is no way he can accomplish everything on the list.

But here’s the real issue that he hadn’t considered before:

At the end of the day, as he looks at his list of things that did and didn’t get accomplished.

Then he has some thoughts.

Thought: I should be able to do all of this.

Thought: I’m letting people down who count on me.

Thought: I can’t keep this up - but I have to keep this up.

He then moves everything he didn’t accomplish to tomorrow’s list and doubles it with more tasks. Repeating the cycle again.

It’s not the list that matters here.

It’s not a matter of scheduling his time better to get more done.

He doesn’t need to get up an hour earlier to accomplish more in the time before the sun rises.

What matters are his thoughts about the list and the feelings those thoughts create.

When he thinks that he should be able to do all of the things on his too-long list or that he’s letting people down who count on him…he feels an emotion.

The emotion?

Shame.

Lack.

He believes he is not doing enough.

It’s that SHAME that we talked about in our coaching session.

He had no idea that he was trapped in a limiting cycle of behavior, thoughts, and emotions of his own making.

Cycle:  create an unrealistic list - don’t accomplish all of the list - tell yourself you should be doing better - feel shame - create a new unrealistic list…

He thought that this is how you have to do it to be successful.

He thought that this is how you have to do it to show you have grit.

This is how you do it to not be lazy.

He believed that this cycle is required to be successful in his business and his life.

Think of coaching as shining a light on something that you didn’t even realize was there.

That’s what happened that day.

He had no idea that he was feeling shame about what he accomplishes each day.

He had no idea that there was another option to create the success he wants.

He thought he needed to schedule things better.

If he managed his time better, then he would be able to do everything on his list.

But it has nothing to do with managing his time.

He knows how to do that already.

He wouldn’t be successful if he didn’t.

The solution is shining a light on what he is thinking and feeling.

The solution is taking charge of what is happening in his mind.

The solution is actually a lot easier than trying to fit more tasks into your waking hours.

The solution happens inside.

That’s why this coaching session was so powerful.

It was like a light bulb turning on in his head.

He had no idea that there was another option to creating success other than grinding it out.

Pushing through.

Being relentless.

That day, in one hour, he learned that there IS a better way to create sustainable success than how he has been doing it.

The enlightenment was immediate.

The relief was immediate.

This is what happens in a coaching session.

I help you shine a light on limiting thoughts and beliefs that you are currently creating without even realizing it.

From the outside looking in, I see things that you don’t see.

I hear things that you don’t hear.

We bring them into the light.

Then you see the things you haven’t seen.

You hear the things you haven’t heard.

And you decide what you want to do with it to move forward.

My clients aren’t a hot mess.

You are high achievers.

You apply things quickly.

You’re addicted to personal growth.

Now is the time to say, “No more.”

“I don’t have to keep creating success the same way any more.”

“I can create sustainable success.”

“I can create calm and connection and growth at work.”

“I can create intention and love at home.”

Massive success is sustainable - without overextending your time and energy.

Q: How successful are you at creating the work-life balance you long for?

I want this for you.

The impact you have on the world is big.

I want it to be exponential.

Four months from now your life will be completely different.

After working together, you’ll never NOT KNOW how to manage your mind to create massive success.

Your impact becomes exponential. And the lifetime ROI of what you learn through coaching is exponential, too.

It happens first in your mind and your body.

What thoughts and emotions are you experiencing as you create your success?

I promise…you can feel better.

Sending love,

K