Jason at His Best

Both pictures were of events.
Both pictures were candid shots.
Both pictures had Jason in them.

I love these.
The unexpected photo.
The ones where no one posed.
The ones that literally capture a moment.
A pinpoint in time.
A sliver of actual life.

I like these kinds of photos because they always show hints of the real Jason.
The subtle tilt of his head that is so familiar.
That exact way that he sat in his chair and shifted for a pressure release.
His mouth. Concentrating or kind of smiling. In a way that is perfectly him.

Jason was in a car accident five years after we were married. He was in the hospital for 13 months. His recovery lasted over the next ten years.

His body was battered and broken.
He was often tired and worn down from not feeling good.
Then he became a father. 
And with greater purpose often comes greater capability.
He still spent months in the hospital for various surgeries and illnesses.
But he also gave everything he had to show up as a dad.

He added tasks and activities to his life as Coleman got older.
Became the coach of his lacrosse team.
Then got involved with helping to grow the youth lacrosse program in our town.
He started motivational speaking again.
Joined the National Speakers Association.
Monthly meetings, trainings and workshops were added to his calendar.
He served in our church congregation. Joined the choir.

Those pictures I received from Jason’s friends were from this time period.
Health-wise, I think the last years of Jason’s life were some of his best. He looked and felt healthier than he had during the previous twenty years.

Before he unexpectedly died, Jason was at his best.
Feeling his best.
Volunteering at his best.
Fathering at his best.
Connecting at his best.
I kind of like knowing that after years full of overcoming hard stuff, Jason ended up living at his best.

Thank you for the random texts and unexpected DMs with a memory attached.
Thank you for explaining why you sent me that particular photo.
It’s usually because it’s a moment captured.
And it brings up a feeling for you, too.

Thank you for still feeling this with me.