Download Day - Remember

One of the most growth-enhancing periods of my life was just a few years ago.  Many things happened during that time period - many changes and miracles and blessings.  My life hardly even looks the same as it did before then.  But amid all of the changes to our circumstances, I attribute the majority of my personal growth to the fact that I kept a journal during that time.The older I get, the more I can't remember even the most simple things.  Before Jason's car accident I could remember everything.  I didn't need a planner because I could always keep track of what I needed to do, where I needed to go and details rarely escaped me.  After his car accident, I shut down.  I was in survival mode.  I only stored the information that was absolutely necessary and relied on lists and post-it notes to remember the rest.I assumed that once Jason was in a better place physically that I would regain my ability to remember things but it seems like it has become a lost art to me.  I have never been as good at remembering as I was before his accident.  I still find myself standing in the middle of the next room wondering why I had gone in there in the first place.  Age does this, I know, but I think that it was also a survival mechanism in dealing with Jason's accident that will forever be a part of me.I'm convinced that this is why that journal became so significant.  As we were working toward many goals and our lives were in a constant state of change, I wrote about my feelings and experiences and the things that I was learning.  I know that it helped me to better process the things that were happening.  Writing gave me direction and purpose.  Recording my experiences amplified them so that I was able to more maximize the learning and growth that happened because of my circumstances.You have probably noticed that I am not "a venter."  I admit that I have an aversion to the very word.  To me, venting is synonymous with complaining so I try to avoid both altogether.  Therefore, the journal that I created was not a venting journal - although it was entirely honest.  It contains true feelings - hopes and fears, heartaches and joys.  There's a difference between being honest and simply complaining.  My children could read my journal and hopefully find strength from knowing that their mother had hard days and feelings of discouragement but she was able to learn from them and they did not consume who she was becoming.I am different because of my experiences.  We all are.  But I believe that the fact that I kept a journal magnified who I became during that particular time.  And I am convinced that it all came down to allowing myself to remember.