When your spouse doesn’t get why you have to work so much…

Q: Do you long for more connection to the people you care about? 

I know that they love you…

But sometimes they just don’t “get you.”

Your wife doesn’t get why you have to keep checking your phone on vacation.

But you know that a deal that will pay for future vacations like this one is in the works.

You have to pay attention to it.

She loves you - but she doesn’t get what you’re trying to do to care for your family.

Your husband doesn’t get why you have to be busy all of the time instead of just sitting down and watching the game with him.

But you know that you LIKE getting things done because you’re good at it and you like feeling accomplished.

He likes that you are a high-achiever but doesn’t get why you can’t just chill for a second.

People love you.

AND they tell you that you need more balance.

They say that you need to give something up.

They get frustrated because they think you’re not showing up for the things that matter to them.

They want you to let something go in order to solve the problem of feeling disconnected.

You want to feel closer in your relationships but you resist their solution.

It doesn’t seem fair to just give up the things that you are doing.

It doesn’t seem possible to just give up on the success you’ve created.

You don’t want to let anything go.

But you also want to feel more present with your spouse.

You want to feel more connected to your kids.

Your relationships really do matter to you but you’re stretched to the max right now.

You don’t know how to feel closer with the people you love when you’re always just disappointing them.

You want more balance but you don’t know how to do it without giving up things that are important to you.

This exact conversation came up with a friend the other day.

He’s been told for a long time that he just needs to stop achieving so much…if he just relaxed for a second, THEN those around him would feel calmer and more connected to him.

I told him something different, though.

Who wants to stop being so busy only to sit on the sofa with your partner, watching their show and feeling resentful?

But this is what happens.

We do what our spouse or children think we need to do to create a closer relationship but then feel frustrated or annoyed or angry about doing it.

Maybe you think you are being managed or controlled.

Perhaps you think you’re the only one giving anything up.

And you feel resentment.

You certainly don’t feel present or connected or closer to that person.

But what other option is there?

Here’s the other option that I told my friend that day:

You can LEARN how to feel present and connected in any relationship - without giving up the things that you are accomplishing.

You just need some different tools than what you currently have.

You just need some strategies that are different than to “stop accomplishing things.”

You just need to learn how to feel more present.

This is how we create balance.

You just need some different tools than what you currently have.

Then, you learn how to create all of the massive success that you love creating - but you do it without feeling resentful or frustrated or by thinking you’re disappointing those around you.

I’m an education junkie.

I LOVE going to school.

I have a Bachelor and Masters degree in Education.

I learned graphic design at a tech college.

I got my life coaching certification.

I read all of the time.

I listen to podcasts.

I have enlightening conversations with people.

I soak up learning.

The tools I’m talking about in this email are like getting a higher-level degree in Life.

Think of it like just going back to school - except the material you learn and apply creates a massive ROI where relationships are connected in deep and meaningful ways.

You’ll know how to handle your time so that you feel present.

You’ll know how to create closeness in any relationship.

You’ll know how to make completely aligned decisions about your schedule.

You’ll be able to breathe.

You’ll feel relaxed and calm and determined while you continue to create your success.

Q: Do you long for more connection to the people you care about? 

I get you.

You don’t want to give anything up but you want to feel more connected to those you love.

The next step is to just send me a message or respond to this email.

You can simply say, “How do I do this?”

We’ll start a conversation.

We’ll see what you are wanting and I’ll help you navigate what it looks like to create that.

If what I’m describing isn’t you…I invite you to forward this on to someone who wants to create more balance in their life.

Someone who is wildly successful but is drowning from being over-committed.

Someone you want to feel more connected to.

I get you.

And I’ve got you.

Sending love,

K