We're Having a Baby!

It's true!  After 16 years of marriage we are finally adding a new little one to our family!  I know, I can hardly believe it myself.  I feel like when I look at the ultrasounds that I am watching a movie of someone else.  Not quite real yet.I took me a long time to feel like Jason was healthy enough that I could handle taking on this challenge - that's what caused the delay.  I admit.  It's all me.  But when my OB said, "Well, if you're going to do it, you better hurry because you're getting old," then I figured it was time to dive in.I am due February 15 - practically the same day as my friends Ali Edwards and Alanna George.  We found out we were having little matching babies at CHA about 6 weeks ago and it is fun to have a friend in it with you.I have to say that I am totally out of my element here and feel like I have experienced every emotion on the scale - mostly hanging out on the "scared to death" mark.  We started the invitro process in October (IVF) and had our first bump in the road when Jason was admitted to the hospital for an elbow infection for five weeks in December/January.Once he was out of the hospital, we pretty much maxed out every option for retrieval, fertilization and transfer that they have available at the Reproductive Care Center in Sandy, Utah.  Our philosophy was to do all we could and let God take care of the rest.  Dr. Heiner was fabulous there and we felt very blessed to have such good, competent resources so close to home.  Many people come from much further away than we did to use their facilities.Invitro is interesting.  It is a science - yes.  But I came to understand and appreciate the art form as well.  Every step is analyzed, tested, and researched before moving forward because each person is unique so the process becomes unique as well.  Dr. Heiner's creativity as well as his knowledge was so apparent as we progressed through the experience.What does IVF entail?  Little shots in my belly (easy to do myself), deep tissue shots in my hips (hard to do myself but I did it nonetheless) and pills, pills, pills.  I feel like we have been counting calendar days since October - this baby should be 12 by the time it gets here!The first time we tried we got 12 eggs and 8 were viable for fertilization.  Then came the challenging part - Jason's contribution.  But after a series of miracles (literally) they were able to fertilize 7.  We transferred the best three in February but none of them were successful.  (And YES, I was ok with twins or triplets!!!)Luckily, we were able to freeze the other four embryos and after a month of getting my body calmed down again, we started the whole injection/medication process over. In May we did a frozen transfer - 3 out of 4 of the embryos survived the defrosting so we transferred all 3.  I had a feeling that even the little 5-cell embryo should be transferred.  I still think that is the one that took - it's a fighter.Two weeks later we found out that I was pregnant with a small chance that it was twins.  Two weeks after that we saw one little brine shrimp in there with a strong heart beating furiously.  It worked!  We couldn't believe it.  We're actually having a baby!  Again, I was really open to the idea of multiples but there is just one.  Jason breathed a sigh of relief at that!It's hard to explain how I feel.  Very blessed and excited for sure - I know that there are so many people who have to try much longer than we did and some never have it work.  We are very lucky.  But then I also feel very overwhelmed with the idea of being able to do this.   When I was sick for the next 6 weeks I kept thinking, "I can't believe I actually paid good money to feel like this!"I have now reached the 15 week mark and have had multiple ultrasounds and heard the heartbeat (strong and steady) again last week so I feel like it's time to get the word out.  I know it will be a major life adjustment for us and I'm really nervous about my ability to handle everything that I will need to do.  I keep thinking, "OK, it worked.  Now what do I do?"  But I have to have faith that I can do it.  I know that this was the right decision for us and I have seen God's hand in the process.  If all of that is true, then I must be able to do it.  I have to have faith in that.I can't believe it - we're actually having a baby!Thank you to eveyone who left their congratulations, words of encouragement here.  We are so blessed to have such fabulous support as we enter into this new life venture!  Check back for updates!Kolette