The Story of the Closet

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Coleman and I always shared a closet & bathroom.
I know, that sounds totally weird.
Here’s why...

Jason always had an aide who would come in the morning to help with his care, get him dressed and out of bed.
He came back at night to repeat the process in opposite order.

I never wanted to get ready in the same place as where the aide was so I always used a different closet and bathroom in the house.
Makes sense, right?

When we moved into this house, we were doing IVF and I didn’t know if I would become pregnant.

So, I used the guest room closet.
The room that became Coleman’s.

But he was just a baby. 👶🏼Babies are tiny and their clothes are tiny so sharing with him was easy.
I knew I would move to a different closet and bathroom someday when he got a little older...
Then I never got around to it.

Now he’s ten.
And pretty much I’m lazy.
I never moved my closet and we still share a bathroom.

When Jason died, I decided to take over the closet and bathroom in our bedroom.

I mean, come on, even I could see that sharing with Coleman when we have 13 closets and 4 bathrooms in the house seemed kinda ridiculous.🤦🏻‍♀️

But I didn’t want to pack up Jason.
Put him away.
Move on.
I’m not ready for him to leave that closet.

I decided to share.
After 27 years of marriage, I’m sharing a closet with my husband.

My shirts touching his shirts.
My shelves near his shelves.
Perfume sitting next to cologne.

Our closet.

I cleaned out a little bit - just the stuff that he didn’t really care about - and left the stuff I love.
Moved it over, condensed a bit, stacked it higher.

I don’t need to access it every day.
I just want to see it, be near it, be with it.

💙The ties he paid to have shortened because he sat down all the time and didn’t like them too long.

🧢The tons of baseball caps - do you REALLY have to get a new one every year for your favorite teams???😠
Now I’m glad that he did that.

💙The pocket squares - a more recent staple in his wardrobe - lined up on a shelf so he could pick the perfect one to go with his tie.

👔The button-down shirts on dry cleaner hangers, heavy starch.

👕The polos arranged by color.
For every two shirts there’s one with a BYU logo...just sayin’.

💙The suit coats...my favorite because he was determined to look sharp even though he was in a wheelchair.

💙His sweaters and sweatshirts. Those perfectly folded piles still live in the closet.

👞His three pairs of shoes in excellent condition - sneakers, dress shoes and casual - no walking means they never wore out (handicap perk).

💙His cuff links.
The ones that look like a Superman comic.
The ones made from Yankee stadium seats.
The ones from his grandpa.
The ones from his dad.

His clothes.
My memories.
Our closet.

Of all the places, I feel him most in that closet.
I like sharing with him. Finally.✊🏻💙