Missing What's Missing

☀️
I’ve spent the week sitting in the same spot on the Oregon Coast that this picture was taken two years ago.

I love this pic! It captures Jason’s smile perfectly.

This trip has been a lot like the Hall family reunion last month at Deer Valley.
Where Jason was around every corner.
Except missing.

Missing the Hall Anything Goes games.
Missing the t-shirts and swim day and ordering Shirley temples.
Missing the whole family being together.
Giving rides to 13 nieces and nephews.
Missing the same childhood stories told a thousand times already.
They were still told, but Jason’s version was just...
Missing.

Then this week in Oregon with my family.
Missing the donut run to the bakery each morning.
Missing the blue skies.
The sunshine.
The sound of the waves and salty air settling on our skin.
Missing walking into town for ice cream at night.
Missing watching an epic sand castle being built by the kids.
Missing the salt water taffy 5,348 flavor tasting.
Missing the Walla Walla Sweet Onion Rings in season at Burgerville.
Missing.

At night during the Hall reunion I would hide out in my room.
I would get tired faster than normal.
I cried when I said my prayers.
Then read my book for awhile.
And finally ventured out where the ultimate family Uno game was underway.

That was a month ago.
I did it again last night here in Oregon.
Walked in to grab warmer clothes to sit by the beach fire.
I never left my room.
Read my book instead.

Jason’s family just let me be.
My family just let me be.
I just let myself be.

I love being here with five out of six siblings!
Those times are rare as we get older.
The beach is healing and calming and super fun.
A blast, really!

But today I’m missing what’s missing.✊🏻💙