Kolette's Q&A

Sometimes you think you’re up to doing something but really you’re not.

That’s totally ok.

Even though I said a couple of weeks ago that I was going to to do a FB live to answer some questions you might have...as each day passed, I couldn’t do it.

I don’t mean the question part.

That’s easy. I’ll answer just about anything and I like talking about stuff.

It was the FB live part.

FB lives aren’t hard for me but right now I have felt a struggle inside just with the idea of actually getting out the camera stand, setting things up, pushing play.

Even though it’s not very hard....it FELT like a lot of effort.
A lot of work.

So, I listened to how I’m feeling and didn’t do it yet.

No worries. It’ll happen sometime.
And I’m good with that.

However, I thought I would answer a few of your questions in written form instead. How does that sound?👍🏻

Here goes...

1️⃣ Why did you wait 3 weeks for the funeral?

I know, weird right???

“Don’t rush.”
That was the advice I received from a couple of people when Jason died.
That made sense to me.
There are a lot of decisions to make!
I decided not to make them all when I was feeling the most loss and stress and shock.
So, I didn’t do the funeral the first week.

Yosemite.
Coleman was already scheduled to go with my parents and my brother’s family.
I didn’t want Coleman to miss that trip.
So, I tagged along instead.
That took care of week #2.

We scheduled the next Saturday.
Time for Jason’s brothers and their families to come from Connecticut.
Time to plan things the way I wanted them.
Time to think about what to say at the funeral.
Time to pause, be together, think things through, do the details without the rush.
Time to write his obituary the way I wanted to.
Time to design his funeral program like I wanted to.
A little bit of time to feel and celebrate and remember.

The funeral home took good care of Jason during the three weeks.
As a matter of fact, they told me that more and more people are waiting.
It’s actually not as crazy as it seemed at first!

And I loved that Jason lingered during that time. Probably my favorite reason of all.💙✊🏻

Do I recommend waiting just a bit if you can?
Yes. Definitely.

2️⃣ How are you and Coleman spending this summer of transition?

We are with people we love doing fun things. We’re basically gone all the time - that’s my summer strategy.☀️

And cleaning out the house with my family, of course! Still leaving Jason’s things alone...although I have a little plan for that. Looking forward to it, actually.

Starting school will probably punch me in the face. 
A new transition for me.
Coleman gone all day.
Jason not there with me, working side-by-side.
It might be pretty tricky for me.
A time to create new normals.

When my neighbors ask what they can do, I ask them to check back when school starts.

I’m fortifying my defenses ahead of time.💪🏻

For now, we visit friends, play in the water, go to family reunions, hang with cousins, ride our bikes to visit Jason, stay up late, play games and basically party summer-style in various locations.
💦🏊🏼‍♂️🚲🥏🚙🛴✈️🚤🎢⛰🏖💦

I’ll do more questions in the coming days...
🧐Maybe even throw in a FB live????? 
Hmmm....we’ll see! No promises!😂

But I know that you take me as I am and I feel no pressure. Thank you for that, friends!💙