Emerging
When a person goes through adversity, it sometimes feels like it will never be over - that this is how life will always be. I felt this many times while Jason was recovering from his car accident in 1993. After thirteen months in the hospital and dozens of surgeries and hospital stays after, "rehabilitation" seemed to last forever. For me, the last six months have been no different - it seems like being sick will never end. 
But it doesn't last forever. Whether the adversity goes away or stays with us, changes are inevitable. After six months I am profoundly grateful to say that the changes happening to me with regard to my health are changes for the better. I have had a couple of weeks of feeling dramatically improved. I'm not quite sure why or how this has happened except that in my mind it is a miracle, both scientific and spiritual in nature.I have had the best care possible, both from medical personnel as well as family and friends. I have been watched over and loved in a way that I hope all who experience difficulties are cared for. My gratitude is deep for the blessing of people who have surrounded me and buoyed me up and kept me laughing in spite of everything.
It has been a long six months. I feel like 2010 is simply a black hole called "Gallstone Pancreatitis" where all normal life was sucked out, never to be seen again. And the journey is not over. Yes, I have had a couple of good weeks. Great weeks, really. And I hope and pray that they will continue. But I still have further to go. My stamina is increasing but I still can only do activities for an hour or two before I need a rest. I still need a great deal of help in caring for our little boy. I'm still being fed through an IV because I can't eat enough calories to be nutritionally adequate. I still take a nap every day. 
But Jason, Cole and I are together as a family and even though babysitters and friends and family still pitch in on almost a daily basis, we have come so far since May 1. I can play simple games with Cole instead of just watch him playing. I can hold him and carry him and hug him without help. I did a little work last week for the first time. I can drive myself to the hospital for my appointments and procedures. I can even write a post or two on my blog.I'm not fully recovered but we have come so far. And for that I am grateful.Thank you for your support via cyberspace. I would like to say, "I'm back!" but I think that is too ambitious. I'm thinking that I can post about once a week but we'll see how that goes. For the last six months my life I haven't been able to give even a thought to expressing myself through this blog but things are changing. I'm getting better and I hope that the best is still to come.Here's to emerging from the black hole and all the joy that comes with overcoming our challenges. Thanks for staying with me as I transition from my life revolving around my health to my life revolving around my life. Yes, life is what I want to be focused on now and I look forward to sharing it with you.Many thanks,Kolette