Advice for a Grieving Widow?

💙
Since Jason died, people ask for advice on how to help someone who has lost their husband.

Advice for helping a grieving widow.
I have none.

All I have is my own experience. My own life. My own situation.
And every widow has her own unique experience & situation, too.

We are not exactly the same.
But we share similarities. We feel heartache. We have empty places & missing parts.
We are now part of a club that we never signed up for.

And what I need might be exactly opposite of what a fellow widow is longing for.
So I say, just go with your gut.
Give your best sincere love. Whatever that might look like.

😐 I have found that I don’t like certain things. Like when people tell me how I’m feeling or label me with stages of grief.
I just want to feel what I’m feeling.
No rules. No labels.

💙 But I have also found things that I love.
I love it when people share stories of Jason.
The little memory. The moment when he was funny or dumb or inspirational.
Or when he took the time to care for them as an individual.

📬 I was grateful to get a note in the mail from Jason’s doctor - seven months after Jason died - with a memory included.

I love the stories....
And I love the Marco Polo app.
It's been my unexpected grieving gift.

Our friend Krishel told me to Marco her any time.
🎥 Video texting. I had never done it.
The first few days were a little awkward. I wasn’t sure what to do.
Then I got the hang of it. Became more comfortable.

I now Marco Krishel every morning on the way home from school drop off.
We tell each other what our day looks like.
Then we report in about the little things we got done & the big things we think about.
🏃🏻‍♀️We talk while we do our steps.
🍽 We talk while we do our makeup or run errands or unload the dishwasher.

She’s known Jason since junior high.
We laugh. I cry. We remember.
She says, “That is so Jason!” when I tell her about Coleman’s latest antic.
We also solve the world’s problems...🌎

Jason & I talked about everything.
I need conversation.
I like to talk things through.
A daily connection.
Jason was my person for that.🦸🏻‍♂️

Krishel & I talk about that daily stuff now.

Possible advice for a grieving widow?
Help her find her “person” if she needs one.
Maybe they’re on Marco, too.
💙✊🏻