✈️
COVID-consequence #82:
Coleman and I were supposed to be in Cabo this week.
Our annual quality time by the ocean with some of Jason’s family is squashed.
Boooo!😷

Whenever I went out of town without Jason he would say, “Text me when you land.”

Then he would ask me to text him when I got to the hotel.
And we would talk every day.
And text throughout the day.
Checking in.
Connecting.
Making sure I was safe.

Sometimes I was impatient.
Annoyed that I had to remember to text him in the middle of getting off the plane or checking in at the hotel.

I wanted him to not need me that much.
I wanted to just be on vacation or just be able to take care of my work.

I went to Hawaii with my sister in February.
Pre-coronavirus.
We travel a lot together.
This year we took Coleman and his cousins because I’m not ready to go away without my eleven-year-old partner yet.
I love this trip.

But this year no one told me to text him when we landed.
No one told me to text him when we safely arrived at the hotel.
I didn’t have Jason to call each evening and say, “Good night. I love you, too.”

Yes, I have other people who might have filled that role for me.
People I called and messaged and talked to.
But it wasn’t about checking in with someone.
It was about checking in with THE one.

I felt like I was standing on the sidelines, looking in to a world where people were calling other people, watching out for and keeping tabs on each other.
But I couldn’t find my person to call.
I looked and waited then looked some more.
But he wasn’t there.
I felt a little perplexed. Confused. A low-grade longing for something that couldn’t be found.

The trip was awesomely Hawaiian and I loved being there.
I just missed something.
“Text me when you land.”
Yes, that was it.
✊🏻💙