Kolette Hall

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Mom-guilt is an Optional Feeling

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"Mom Guilt" is a made-up thing.
It's new. The phrase didn't even exist until recent years.

Now we seem to think it's a fact.
A necessity.
Just part of the job.

Our kids are in a new school year.
How's your mom guilt?
Are you having thoughts like, "I should pack a more healthy lunch." or "I need to make sure they like their teachers." or "I should be there to help with homework instead of meeting with that client."

Maybe. You could do those things.
You might even want to do those things.
But not because you "should." And not because you "need to."
Mom guilt says we're falling short. We're not enough. We're missing something vital in our motherhood role.
Mom guilt says we should do more. We need to create the experience for our kids. We should be better.

But you don't actually need to do anything.
For real. Nothing.

You have a choice.
You might choose to make a lunch for your child.
You might choose to send in money for school lunch.
You might choose to let them make their own lunch.
You might choose to be around during homework time.
You might choose to meet with a client during homework time and let your kids handle it themselves.
You might choose to ask them about their homework later.
You might choose to never ask them about it.

They are all right answers. Because they are your choice.
There is no need to bring mom guilt along for the ride.
No need to add judgment to your choice.
No need to criticize yourself or demean your decisions.

You always have choices.
So, let's drop the "I shoulds" and the "I need tos" and choose.
Then stand by your own side. Stand by your own choice.
And slam the door when mom guilt wants to join in on the party.
You are not required to invite mom guilt along.
It will be fine being left out.

I love you.💙