🦸🏻‍♂️
It’s May 24, 2021.
I woke up at 6:15 am. Jason’s heart was beating its last beats right now two years ago.
I look at the clock again. And again. I get dressed for Pilates class that I decided days ago I was going to do this morning.
6:35 am. That’s when he died.

Now it’s 6:44.
I’m sitting in our closet writing this.
6:44 am. 
44ever, Jas.
His favorite number was 44. It was Danny Ainge’s professional basketball number when he played for the Boston Celtics.
I see 44s everywhere.
Little moments where Jason is there.

I have a plan today.
I’m doing all the things I like to normally do on a Monday. Plus an added bonus.
I’ll get Coleman off to school.
Then head to Pilates.
I’m going to tell my instructor what today is for me.
So I’m not alone in the room with that knowledge.

Then I have a webinar to tune into and a coaching call to listen in on.
I’m getting my allergy shot.
Next is my standing Monday appointment with my life coach. My favorite hour of the day to discuss business and progress and thoughts and feelings.

Taking a nap will most like happen along with reading a book in the afternoon.

But 6:00 pm is special.
Jason was Coleman’s lacrosse coach for four years.
Coleman’s current coach happened to schedule a LAX party for tonight.
Coaches and parents will play a game against the kids (so fun!) Then a potluck and awards will follow.

I can think of nothing better for Coleman and I to do today than surround ourselves with people who love Coach Hall.
They still do his cheer at every game.
It still brings up that tightness of grief for me.
But I still love it. Because it was so Jason.
The coach who couldn’t hold a stick but taught his players skills, taught them to care for each other and the other team, taught them that they were each valuable and important.
We are the Titans!
Learn. Play. Work. Win!

Yep. Lacrosse is exactly where I want to be tonight. 44ever, Jas.💙✊🏻