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I just want to talk to him.

Jason and I often felt the same about issues.
Political issues.
Social issues.
World issues.
Religious issues.
All of the issues.

But he was often more informed than me.
He watched political news shows each week.
He read the articles. Paid attention to the headlines.
I would ask him for the CliffsNotes version of it all.

Because sometimes I let things get to me.
Sometimes I get fired up and let my mind race with troubling possibilities.
Sometimes I want to fix things that I have no control over.
I’m an Enneagram Type One – The Reformer! I can change the stuff out there that I don’t agree with!
Jason steadied all of that.

He was calm about the issues.
He didn’t get riled up.
He had opinions and thoughts and cared about what was going on.
He voiced them. He often felt passionately about them.
But for me, he was steady. Restful.

I’m missing that.
I just want to talk to him.
I want to know his perspective on things.
I want his calmness.
I want less drama in my mind and more sense of peace.

Yes, I have strategies.
Yes, I have tools.
I practice mindfulness.
I value meditation and tapping and breathing exercises.
I know how to use gratitude to see the good.
I seek peace through God and Jesus Christ.
All of these are fixes for the worry or desire to change everyone else or the mind drama.

But here’s the thing.
There are issues.
And I don’t have my issue-partner anymore.

I just really want to talk to him.✊🏻💙