🔥
I get mad at Jason.

But it’s not so much a constant feeling or “stage of grief” for me.
It wells up like a hot flash.
Instant. Fierce.
Body-filling.
During a specific type of moment.

He was always better with technology than me.
I love technology! But things go wrong all the time.
Jason was my go-to for tech issues.

Right after Jason died, the internet wasn’t connecting to the TV.
I got mad.
I looked for contact information of our AV guys in Jason’s phone. I searched keywords. Nothing.
I got more mad. Then I got sad.
“Jason, who is it???” I said through angry tears.

Then I remembered something.
Jason had the same guys help his mom with her system.
I called Sophia.
She knew exactly who it was.
They fixed it and didn’t even charge me.
They missed Jason, too.

Jason was our family tech guy.
Either he would solve the problem or he knew how to get help.

I lost my text messages the other day and had to figure out how to get them back.
Mad flash.
“Jason would know how to fix this,” I thought angrily.

Coleman’s Nintendo Switch suddenly didn’t communicate with the system.
Mad flash.
“Dad would know what to do,” I clenched my teeth and said.

And when I tried to upgrade my blog to the new kolettehall website, my past blog posts got scrambled. That flash of anger came swift and hard. Mad tears flowed. “Jason, help me fix it.”

I stewed.
I prayed.
My niece, McKenna's name came to mind.
She does online marketing for businesses.
She tinkered with the site. She fixed some things but couldn’t get this problem figured out. It’s not her specialty.
She sent me to experts at Codeable.
They solved it in one day.

And now McKenna is helping me with the thing that IS her specialty.
Because the book is coming.

We have a little plan over here the website to help people stay in the loop. To keep you up to date with the status of the book.
Our plan is simple.
It’s small.
It’s doable for my current state of mind.
Just add your email address to the pop up and you'll get all of the upcoming info.

I’m getting less mad at Jason.
I’m starting to gather my tech people around me. People who know the stuff Jason knew.
I think he’s helping me find them.
I think he knows that technology is hard for me but he’s saying, “Don’t give up!”

I’m pretty sure that Jason is still my #1 tech guy.
✊🏻💙