Does your spouse say that you’re working too much?
Q: Does your spouse say that you’re working too much?
Maybe it’s an eyeroll when you pick up your phone to check a text that came in while you’re decorating the Christmas tree.
Maybe it’s a sigh of frustration when you say you need to just check this one email instead of focusing on the family dinner.
Maybe it’s the silent but deadly energy emanating off her when you’re late to the school holiday program.
Your spouse has a million ways to say you’re working too much.
And maybe you just disregard her irritation because she doesn’t really understand the pressure you’re under.
Maybe you feel frustrated also because you want to feel more connected to your family but you also want to create massive success at work.
Maybe you want it to be different. You want to have more balance in your life but you really don’t see how it’s possible.
Your spouse wants you to not work so much.
He wants you to have more balance.
But working too much isn’t actually the issue.
More balance isn’t created by taking things off of your calendar or to do list.
Balance is created by what you’re thinking and feeling.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
But only because of what you are thinking and feeling about the most wonderful time of the year.
We all experience situations and circumstances.
Things that are happening all around us.
We often think that those circumstances make us feel stressed or frustrated or pressure.
But it’s actually the thoughts that we have ABOUT the circumstances that make us feel things.
And this is true for your spouse, too.
She thinks that you working is what is creating her frustration or anger.
But that’s not true, either.
You don’t have that much power.
Your work deadlines or fires that need to be put out don’t have that much power, either.
You can create any feeling that you desire - just by managing your thoughts about your circumstances.
It’s not that you never have a negative thought or you never feel frustrated again.
That’s unrealistic and therefore, not the goal.
The goal is to manage the thoughts and emotions you do have.
The goal is to take ownership of how you feel because you know that those feelings come from thinking a thought that creates that emotion.
The goal is to learn how to manage your thoughts intentionally so that you experience the kind of feelings you desire.
The goal is to confidently know that you can handle any emotion because you know how and why you are feeling it.
The goal is to empower yourself with control of the things you actually have control over - what’s happening inside YOUR mind and body.
The goal is to empower others by letting them control the things they have control over - what’s happening inside THEIR mind and body.
This takes learning and it takes practice.
When I first learned these strategies and principles, I thought that I already had a handle on how to live positively and to create success.
But I still didn’t really understand the power of managing my mind and emotions.
I was still giving the power away to outside circumstances.
I was reacting to something someone said.
I was thinking I was stuck in a difficult situation.
I was believing that it was my husband’s responsibility to make me feel close to him.
I was listening to the massively limiting beliefs of the news and the world.
Understanding how I can completely manage my experience with anything in life through managing my thoughts and feelings is the ultimate power play.
And to be clear, this isn’t a 100% success kind of thing.
I’m human.
I still think limiting beliefs.
I still feel negative emotions.
But I know how to handle them.
I know that I have the ability to manage them.
It might be more challenging sometimes.
But I still know how to handle them.
I am completely responsible for what I think and what I feel.
And this is empowering.
When I talk about living intentionally, this is what I mean.
I know that I am responsible for my experiences with time, relationships, work, and life.
So I intentionally decide what I want that experience to be by being willing to look at EVERY thought I have.
Is this thought creating the emotion I want to have?
Is this thought creating the result I want to create?
Balance is created by what you are thinking and feeling about your work and your life.
You can never change a thing on your calendar and still feel balanced.
You can continue to create the success you desire and still feel connected in your relationships.
Balance is created in your mind not on your calendar.
Here’s a pro tip I’ll leave with you during this holiday season:
Notice when you feel stress or pressure or “busy.”
Recognize that you are feeling it because of something you are thinking.
Even if you don’t know what that thought is, just taking ownership of the feeling gives you power over it.
Then message me.
I’ll help you know what to do next.
And if you want high-speed growth to learn how to do this better, that’s what coaching is for.
It’s worth not waiting till you hit rock bottom.
Learn the skills now and your life will never be the same again.
Your work success will never be the same again.
Your relationships will never be the same again.
More time, more connection, and more relief is on the other side of saying, “No more. I’m not doing it this way anymore.”
Q: Does your spouse say that you’re working too much?
It doesn’t have to be this way anymore.
Sending love,
K