I love receiving Christmas cards.
Seeing the little pile gathered in my mailbox.
Looking at the return address before tearing it open.
Knowing if that address is different than last year.
Reading the note or letter.
Inspecting the photos.
Smiling.
Laughing.
Feeling love.
Feeling close.
Connected.

I like sending Christmas cards.
The ordering and list making and stamping and addressing.
I like all of that.
Until now.

I toyed with the idea of sending one this year.
But I couldn’t envision myself stuffing a card into an envelope that didn’t have a picture of the three of us.
Celebrating our year.
Giving news of each person in the family.
Then stuffing the next card into the next envelope.
Over and over again.
Still missing one person.

I didn’t want to do it.
And I’m sure you understand.
I’m grateful that you still send us yours, even when you don’t get one back from me.

I love Christmas cards.
And so here is ours.
It’s Coleman and I at Lake Michigan this summer.

Wishing you a season full of peace and hope and tremendous joy.
Merry Christmas from the Halls.
We love you!
-Kolette, Jason and Coleman (11)