🤗

Coleman was six years old and we were reading a scripture in the Book of Mormon.
Part of it said, “Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive.”

We showed him what it might look like if your arm was “extended.” He stretched out his arm with us.
“What do you think it might mean that Jesus has his arm extended toward us,” we asked.

Coleman’s little face turned toward me as he answered, “He wants to give us a hug?’”

Ever since Jason died I have had experiences where I have felt him close. I have also felt the Savior close. I have often felt them together, even. Seen them in my mind’s eye.

Each time I envision the Savior, it is because I am in need of something.
Peace that Jason is ok and we are ok.
Reassurance that I am a good mother.
Calm that He is with me.
Permission to feel what I’m feeling.
Courage to take a certain step.
Strength to do what needs to be done.
Forgiveness as I work on changing and becoming.
Healing.

I have needed all of it and more.
And every time I envision Him, the Savior smiles at me. He extends His arm. He places it on my arm or around my shoulders. Then I imagine Him saying something like, “It’s fine. You are fine. You are good. You are capable. I love you.”

In my mind, He gives me a hug. A light-filled hug.
I feel it now as I write this.
It’s mercy.
He always offers me mercy.
Compassion.
Love.

I have learned more about the Savior’s Atonement since Jason died than I have in my whole life.
Books have been written. Speeches have been given. Experts have explained it.
I haven’t read or listened to any of those things this last year.
Grief has forced me into the most basic method of learning.
I’ve just imagined Him. Felt Him. Asked to know Him. Tuned into Him.
And in the process, all that He is has been simplified in my mind. A clear definition of my Savior summarized in a word filled with power, peace and love.

Mercy.
For me, Jesus Christ is mercy. 💙✊🏻